April - A Month in the Life of a Seminarian

It has been a busy month since Melissa and I last wrote. Our spring semester of school has been successfully finished and Melissa and I have plans to travel down to Cape Cod to celebrate our second anniversary (which was actually April 23rd), so we are looking forward to that.

Our exciting month began with an incredible Holy Week at our church, especially the Triduum service which consists of Maundy Thursday (Jesus last meal with his disciples), Good Friday, and the Great Vigil of Easter (Easter actually begins at Sundown on Saturday since according to the Jewish calendar the day ends and another begins at sundown). Beginning on Thursday, midway through the service the lights begin to dim, the songs become slow and sad and the mood somber, rather like a funeral. The priests wear black. There are many periods of silence. The readings are those of Christ's passion: his capture while praying in the garden and then on Friday, his crucifixion. Christ is dead and a sinking heavy feeling comes upon you throughout the day. It is as if you are experiencing Christ's suffering along with him. With this atmosphere and emotion the Easter Vigil begins on Saturday, in complete darkness. However, about midway through the service as the church begins to fill with candle light, Easter begins. After suffering through these mournful, wearisome, and solemn services (of which the church has been packed every night since Thursday) we can hardly await the words of the priest as he shouts three times, "Alleluia! Christ is risen!" and we all shout back, "The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia!" Suddenly, a great change comes upon the room. All the lights are now on as bright as possible. Everyone is crying, yelling and screaming in celebration. Christ is risen! Energy is pulsating through the room like you've never felt before as people pull bells out of their coats, purses and bags and began shaking and ringing them with all of their might. You are now yelling in excitement as loud as you can, but you cannot hear yourself. The room is filled with sounds of worshippers bellowing and singing at the top of their lungs praises to God. Hands are raised and everyone is whistling and shouting and crying all at the same time. Alleluia! Christ is risen!

A week later, we boarded a plane and flew down to Florida to go before the Commission on Ministry for an emotionally tumultuous weekend in the ordination process. I, along with six others, would go before a group of about twenty to thirty clergy and laypeople who would say to me after the weekend, "Yes, we affirm your calling to the priesthood and encourage you to continue the process." Or "No, we do not think that you are called to be a priest." My destiny, I felt was in there hands. The weekend retreat is called BACAM, which stands for the Bishop's Advisory Counsel on Aspirants for Ministry. It is from their recommendation that the bishop normally chooses who will go forward to become an official Postulant, which is a Latin word for "asking" or "requesting," in this case, to be a priest. So, on Friday Melissa and I arrived at the retreat center and met with the commission for dinner and introductions and then after a sleepless night, we went before four smaller committees of two to three people each to be interviewed on four different areas. Then lunch, and then we left, however the commission stayed at the retreat center to discuss the participants and to decide those which they would recommend to the bishop and those who they would not. Melissa and I flew home and waited. We waited with eagerness and a little fear too for the arrival of the bishops letter with the news. On Thursday it came. I brought it upstairs and looked at it for a moment before calling Melissa who was at work at the time. "It's here." I said. "Did you open it?" she asked. "No, I wanted to call you first so that you would be on the phone when I opened it." And then I did, and I read the words from Bishop Howe, "Dear Philip: I am happy to report to you that the Commission on Ministry has recommended to me, as a result of the BACAM Conference held on April 13th and 14th, that you continue in the process toward Ordination to the priesthood. I am delighted to accept that recommendation." Woo-hoo! I made it.

The one other piece of news that you should know about is our plans for this summer. One of the steps in the ordination process is to take Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) which is a program of intensive training, encountering people in crisis within the hospital setting. I had applied, interviewed and been accepted into a summer CPE program this past December, but had turned it down due to financial concerns. However because the Commission on Ministry strongly recommended that I go through the program this summer, even though it is going to be a great faith and financial stretch for Melissa and I, we decided to see what I could do. Upon arriving back in Massachusetts I called the hospital where I was previously accepted. However, as is understandable they had given away the spot which was previously offered to me. So, I called every CPE program within an hour and a half radius as well as Florida (where Melissa's family lives) and Michigan (where my family lives), but was unable to find any openings this late in the game since it is normal to apply, be interviewed and then accepted six months in advance of the beginning of the program. However God is merciful and within a few days I received a call from a hospital which is located about thirty to forty-five minutes from our house with a position that had recently opened. I was interviewed and soon afterward, learned that I had been accepted into the program. So, I'll be spending over forty hours a week throughout this summer meeting with folks in any of the units from intensive care to cardiac, birthing or even a locked psychiatric unit. It is supposed to be a rigorous and often difficult and heart wrenching experience, but also a time of intensive growth. I'm looking forward to ministering to and learning from the many people with whom I'll be meeting as a hospital chaplain.
As you can see from the above, this last month has been a big experience in learning to trust God. He knows what he is doing and has been taking excellent care of us, though sometimes I have trouble seeing this over the looming challenges. Though I occasionally doubt my calling to be a priest when seeming difficulties and challenges arise, God continues to provide and to keep opening the doors and so we continue to move forward. Thank you for all your prayers and encouragements.